Grief Counseling Through Memory Books & the Creative Arts
By Laurie Holland
After my first trip to Zambia in 2006, I observed a great number of orphaned children grieving the loss of loved ones who had died from HIV/AIDS. Upon my return to San Jose State University, I devoted my graduate thesis research to “grief intervention for AIDS-orphaned children in Africa”. When I returned to Zambia in the summer of 2007, I had the inspiring opportunity to implement many of the creative arts activities from this research with two groups of young Zambian girls ages nine to fourteen.

Laurie with the girls in the grief workshop.
Memory Books & Psychodrama
I found memory books to be by far the greatest tool in assisting the girls to process their pain and loss. A memory book is a book dedicated to a loved one that provides the space for the surviving relative or friend to relive many happy memories about that person. The girls were encouraged to write about as many memories as they could remember about an important person in their life who died. This was most often an immediate family member.

She feels happy when her mother hugs her.
It was important to respect the needs of those who didn’t feel comfortable sharing very much, as oftentimes evoking such memories can create discomfort. Imagine not just one parent dying, but both; not just both parents dead but an uncle, cousin, and brother or sister, too. It was a great privilege to offer the girls the space to feel safe and encourage them to feel - to feel sadness, to feel the pain, to feel the loss – and to encourage them to know that it is okay to feel these emotions that are often labeled “bad” or that feel uncomfortable.
After completing their memory books, the girls moved on to an activity known as psychodrama, which is mostly used as a group work method in which each person in the group can become a therapeutic agent for each other in the group. The girls took an active role and acted out their “regrets” for one another. One girl wished she would have told her mother that she loved her before she died. So she chose a girl to play the part of her mother and another to play the part of her grandma. They ended the drama with the girl telling her mother that she loved her before her mother died. They did such a great job!
Finger Puppets, Finger Paints, Stuffed Animals, Drawings, and Sock Puppets
The girls participated in a number of projects that, like the memory books and psychodrama, helped to facilitate the identification of their emotions. The girls utilized finger puppets, finger-paints, some stuffed animals, sock puppets and drawings to express what it feels like to be sad, scared, and happy.

Girls finger-painted “People in My World.”
In one activity the girls were requested to draw a picture of a tree with each part of the tree representing the following: roots to identify the tribe(s) they are from; a tree trunk labeled with the people or things that have helped them become better people (i.e. parents, or school); branches for positive attributes about themselves; fruit symbolizing their accomplishments; insects representing problems or challenges they were facing; and fallen leaves identifying people in their lives who have died.

The tree trunk represents people/things that influence them in a positive way.

The leaves represent people who have died.
The girls were anxious to show me their drawings and receive praise from me. They openly shared the loss of their family members. Additionally, they drew pictures of a person they consider to be their hero. It was no surprise that two girls drew a picture of Angela Malik, the Director of Kondwa, who always has the best interest of the children in mind. They also drew how they deal with a wide range of emotions (sad, lonely, excited, depressed, happy, angry, etc.). We ended the session with the girls making their own sock puppets. These puppets were used to allow the girls to project their various emotions onto the puppets and learn appropriate ways to deal with those emotions; for instance, what to do when you are angry.

Each girl made a sock puppet to assist in expressing their emotions.
Saying Good-Bye
The last day together with the girls was a difficult one. I shed a few tears that morning knowing that it would be the last day of the workshop with them. The girls had all made cards and drawings for me. “Teacher Laurie,” one girl wrote, “I love you, teacher. I love my mother, and my mother is dead. I now love you as my mother.” Gasp!! Another girl drew a picture of me and titled it “My Second Hero”.
Another girl stated in a note to me (word for word), “don’t you know that it’s easy to buy anything in the shop but it’s not easy to buy people like you. You are so difficult to find. So I am asking if you can continue with your kind heart.” I gave out many hugs that day and told each girl individually at least once or twice that I love them. I asked each girl to write down their prayer requests so that I can pray for their specific needs until we meet again.
One young 9-year-old who lost both parents and now resides with her grandma wrote, “Please pray to send someone to love me when my grandmother dies.” Please keep these young precious girls in your hearts and thoughts, as well as all of the beloved children at Kondwa!

The girls each made cards for Laurie on the last day.

Laurie and the girls on the last day of the workshop.




Laurie has done cross-cultural service and volunteer work in both Kenya and Zambia, Africa. She received her bachelor’s degree in Cross-Cultural Studies from Northwestern College in St. Paul, Minnesota and her master’s degree in Counselor Education from San Jose State University in San Jose, California.
Adam is a behavior specialist who works for the Hamilton County Board of Mental Retardation/Developmental Disabilities. His job involves working with children and adults with Mental Retardation who also have behavior problems.
Phoebe is a teacher and has been working with middle school children. She just started a new job at a high school in South Tucson where she is teaching chemistry and geometry and loving it. 

All 90 children currently attending the Kondwa Day Center received gifts, from the baby class of 3-5 year olds to the Pre-primary school class of 7-9 year olds. In addition, the four teachers and six staff members of the Kondwa Day Center were sent gifts of clothing and toiletries. Thanks to the dedicated leadership of the school director Angela Malik, this school offers the hope of a bright future for these children, and KCF is passionate about assisting Mrs. Malik in her mission.
Thanks to Laureen Ayers and her students at Huron Centennial School in Canada who raised more than $1,000 to support the Angel Project. Thanks also to the folks in Cincinnati for the Holiday Angel fundraiser which raised more than $200! 

Angela Malik, founder of the Kondwa Day Center in Zambia, was concerned for the well being of the widowed mothers whose children did not qualify for admission to the Kondwa Day Center and took it upon herself to do something about it. She helped organize a women’s support group who meets periodically to learn and share about effective parenting skills and ideas on how to support their families needs. Together, they pursue various small business ventures like basket making, sewing, tie-dye and batik printing, and other crafts. They share profits and losses, always reinvesting a portion into the business.
EWD shares a small cinder block building with the Assissi Day School for children with special needs. They meet together on Tuesday afternoons and Saturdays to work on crafts which they sell and then share the proceeds. The merchandise available during KCF’s Summer 2007 visit included beaded necklaces and bangles, tie-dyed and batik cloth in four-meter segments, beaded net table coverings, rag rugs, and coasters in the national colors of green, red, gold and black.


The teachers were a lively bunch of learners. They actively participated in the sessions, sometimes as a large group and at other times in small learning groups. After meeting in small groups, teachers presented their ideas to all participants, providing an opportunity for discussion and interaction between peers from different schools, as well as building longer lasting connections.
A plot of land, 1.7 hectares in size, awaits the trampling of 420 feet. Once the Kachele Primary School is built, 210 students will fill its seven grades. But while the planning for the school has started and the buildings will follow, the land itself has already been put to productive use.
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